Fuck The Kindle…

No really fuck it. The Kindle is Amazon’s little ugly bastard child of an E-book reader. Its like when you’re visiting your family and you’re all having a good time and your cousin from the “deep south” shows up with plastered with his cousin and starts fucking up the place. Everyone just sort goes into a hush and starts commenting on the wallpaper. But no one says what they’re really thinking, which is “What the Fuck?”.

Ugly KindleThe kindle is an e-book reader and is just barely on the curve of the 2-nd generation of ebook readers. It has everything you’d expect, e-ink display, read your ebooks and your news… woo hoo. But that’s where its similarities with every other reader ends. It’s uglier than a hat full of assholes, it looks and feels cumbersome. It was rammed down our throats on the FRONT PAGE of amazon for weeks on end, in a shameless display of self-promotion. It costs hundreds of dollars more than the competition and it has DRM (Digital Rights Management = NO FREEDOM) for days and days.

Seriously guys, what the fuck. It has a cell phone modem to download content, which is neat, but all the content costs money and you can’t read shitloads of your own material on it. Plus the battery life is crap compared to cheaper offerings and oh hey did I mention it’s a clumsy looking shit-tool that seems to have escaped from the movie TRON? It’s angular planes, tiny spaced out keyboard and lack of any real place to hold it comfortably, make it look about as fun to read with as a broken fish-gutting tool.

It wouldn’t be so bad if everyone just shrugged and moved on, but its like all the reviewers WANT to like it. They don’t. But they WANT to like it. So everyone focuses on the good parts and politely smiles and looks away, while the Kindle fucks its cousin on the living room couch. Well I’m speaking up, its ugly as shit, expensive as hell, and not worth my time.

Just when Amazon pulls their head out of their asses and fixes the ugliest site on the internet, they got the old designers to make the Kindle instead. Don’t quit your day job Amazon.

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8 comments

  1. Yeah! Fuck kindle! It recently just deleted the book 1984 off of EVERYONE’S kindles which they paid good money for. Fuck this shit and fuck those goofy bastards selling it.

  2. fuck the kindle its ruining the jobs of those who publish books read a fucking books people have been doing this for years dont use this fucking cheap ass plastic device for people that think they are being hip but just being hipacruts for say how much they hate out sorecing and then going and buying a fucking kidle amd taking the jobs of those who work hard and bind and publish the real books that really make a diffrence to this world and this country so fuck the kindle and all of u fuckers who use it

  3. Fucking Kindle. When the fuck are they going to take it off the front fucking page of Amazon.com so that I can see the real ads that aren’t about selling me this fucked up wireless etch-a-sketch piece-of-shit? For fuck sakes…sell me a fucking Magic Jack or something I might actually be tempted to buy if it were shoved in my face enough times. Enough with the fucking Kindle…you’d think that after 2+ years on the front page I would’ve bought it buy now if I were going to. Fuck. I hate the kindle.

  4. Kindles and all e-readers are crap and are destroying the world as we know it. BOOKS America! theyre made out of paper, the most easily recycled product in the world. Not disposable cheap plastic trash gadgets. BOOKS America…you’re not too good for them. Kindles and their users piss me off and I dont understand why more people dont feel this way.

  5. Since buying the wife a kindle our sex life has completely stopped. This fucking is ruining my life and my bank balance with the constant bastard downloads.

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