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Fuck The Kindle…

No really fuck it. The Kindle is Amazon’s little ugly bastard child of an E-book reader. Its like when you’re visiting your family and you’re all having a good time and your cousin from the “deep south” shows up with plastered with his cousin and starts fucking up the place. Everyone just sort goes into a hush and starts commenting on the wallpaper. But no one says what they’re really thinking, which is “What the Fuck?”.

Ugly KindleThe kindle is an e-book reader and is just barely on the curve of the 2-nd generation of ebook readers. It has everything you’d expect, e-ink display, read your ebooks and your news… woo hoo. But that’s where its similarities with every other reader ends. It’s uglier than a hat full of assholes, it looks and feels cumbersome. It was rammed down our throats on the FRONT PAGE of amazon for weeks on end, in a shameless display of self-promotion. It costs hundreds of dollars more than the competition and it has DRM (Digital Rights Management = NO FREEDOM) for days and days.

Seriously guys, what the fuck. It has a cell phone modem to download content, which is neat, but all the content costs money and you can’t read shitloads of your own material on it. Plus the battery life is crap compared to cheaper offerings and oh hey did I mention it’s a clumsy looking shit-tool that seems to have escaped from the movie TRON? It’s angular planes, tiny spaced out keyboard and lack of any real place to hold it comfortably, make it look about as fun to read with as a broken fish-gutting tool.

It wouldn’t be so bad if everyone just shrugged and moved on, but its like all the reviewers WANT to like it. They don’t. But they WANT to like it. So everyone focuses on the good parts and politely smiles and looks away, while the Kindle fucks its cousin on the living room couch. Well I’m speaking up, its ugly as shit, expensive as hell, and not worth my time.

Just when Amazon pulls their head out of their asses and fixes the ugliest site on the internet, they got the old designers to make the Kindle instead. Don’t quit your day job Amazon.

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