Obscure Love Metaphors and Similes
Special thanks to Sean “SicSemper” Beering
- My love for you is geometrically greater than my love for math
- My love for you is mainly derived from the essence of domesticated pets
- My heart fills with fluid causing a seizure every time you are near
- You make me as Rational as Pi
- You corrupt my logic Sub-Program
- We will smash together like pornography made inside the Large Hadron Collider in Geneva.
- Our flesh will intertwine like Jeff Goldlums body fused with the DNA of a fly in that fateful movie
- I will take you out on a date so hard your body will suffer the bends from excessive g-forces.
- Our love makes as much sense as a sudoku puzzle done by one of the chimps from that flight simulation movie.
- Every word you speak is like a butterfly, drinking my soul
- If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a sexysaurus
- If you were a smoothie, you’d be ginseng and wonderful
- If you were a poisonous flower, I would make cakes from your venom and poison anyone who ever looked at you.
- Your face is like a barracuda hunting my heart
- My urge for you is like a blender on Frappe
- Our lust is like a rednecks bonfire, raging into the old barn that missy stuffed with hay after she got mule-kicked.
- Your smell is as intoxicating as 27 republicans on a bender and burying a hooker they killed with a nylon ligat.
- Living a day without you is like Lindsay Lohan being sober, rare and terrible.
- Your voice is like Siren’s superpower from X-Men, but it only works on my willpower.
- My legs open for you like Torsion springs designed to do so.
Write in your own and I’ll add them to the article 🙂