Sean: i once ate a penguin whole
Sean: well not all at once, but the whole thing
Adam: Are you okay
Adam: oh
Adam: well like what over the course of a week
Adam: I mean, I could eat a whole horse, given a lot of time
Sean: nope one sitting
Adam: and it wouldn’t be anything special
Adam: HOW LONG WAS THE SITTING
Sean: hour and a half….lots of gristle
Sean: kept the beak for a necklace
Adam: well there you go
Adam: not a WHOLE penguin
Adam: if I eat a WHOLE horse but keep the head and tail for a mantlepiece …
Adam: which would be amazing
Adam: I haven’t really eaten a whole one have I?
Sean: its not like you can digest the beak…but for sake of argument I just swallowed my necklace
Sean: now i know you going to say well thats not one sitting
Adam: actually I was going to tell you to see a doctor
Adam: that might really hurt you
Adam: consider my needs satisfied
Adam: but you could be in some trouble
Sean: oh god! why?
Adam: don’t sleep on your stomach for like a week
Adam: it’s a BEAK man, who the hell would eat that
Adam: …
Sean: well i didnt want to seem a liar
Adam: you might die
Sean: ive had worse
Adam: like that time you swallowed a rhino horn?
Adam: This is nothing compared to that
Adam: Those beaks are like little diamond knives with an agenda
Adam: a rhino horn is like an unripe banana
Sean: well now see what you….oh god….i just burped up blood
Sean: im good im good
Sean: i got this
Adam: ugh dude, look down
Sean: and that rhino horn didnt even get me aroused
Sean: is that my blood
Adam: it’s not mine
Adam: except for that old stain from when we played razorblade flick football
Sean: well i think some of it is teh penguins
Sean: that was fun
Sean: AND THE REST IS MINE
Adam: Yeah call 811 we’re in a lot of trouble
Sean: what will traffic updates do for us right now?!
Adam: that’s 511
Adam: 811 is the less urgent emergency service
Adam: or is that emergencies in russia…
Adam: anyway
Adam: But it’s just a little blood loss
Adam: whoa
Adam: a lot
Adam: a lot of blood loss
Sean: well im not fluent any more and the russian i did know isn’t spoken
Adam: dear god, just rip out these floors and start anew dude
Adam: sigh
Sean: some is the penguins
Adam: fine I’ll drive you – but in YOUR car
Sean: ill lay in the back of the truck….just get me….oh wait i got….oh no….here it.,..nope i think its wedged into my stomach
Sean: im not bleeding anymore either…i think…is that good or bad?
Adam: well
Adam: maybe because you’re laying down
Adam: or you might just be on empty
Adam: judging by the rate you were going
Sean: how does my face look?
Adam: Were you always translucent?
Sean: like im becoming invisable
Adam: well no but I think we should hurry
Adam: umm, just elevate your stomach and try to bleed into your mouth
Adam: here’s some knitting needles, some yarn and some gatorade
Adam: I was on my way to grandmas for the packers game so I had all this ready
Sean: okay i can use this…
Sean: gargle gargle gargle
Adam: um, don’t gargle yarn
Adam: you’re really messed up man
Adam: I think we might just want to stop at the morgue
Adam: I have a cousin that works there
Adam: the one that never dates…
Adam: I don’t want to make things sound bad, but I think we may be wasting our time at the ER
Adam: let me mapquest the morgue, actually, call 511
Sean: why do you torment me. your cousin is really creepy
Adam: oh you’re awake
Adam: well we’re on our way to the hospital, yes… the hospital
Adam: where they’ll fix you… right up… *tear* buddy
Adam: You’ll live a long life
Adam: playing with puppies
Adam: not bleeding out from an internal penguin wound
Adam: *manic laugh*
Adam: I guess that ol’ penguin got you in the end, who eats who, ya know?
Adam: *Sean Dies*
Adam: *Adam, covered in penguin and human blood, crashes into the morgue*
Adam: *THE END – Fin*