Me: *Spits Out Red Bull* Coffee you’re here early.
Coffee: …
Me: Ah yes, this is Red Bull I was just in the mood for something different.
Coffee: …
Me: No no! It’s not what it looks like. Red Bull and I are just friends. It means nothing to me.
Coffee: …
Me: Seriously?! Like you’ve never had Cream or Frappe? What about the time you were iced?
Coffee: …
Me: You’re right I’m sorry. I should have at least included you. It just seemed like a lot all at once. Sometimes you just want some variety you know? You’re still my number one beverage.
Coffee: *burble*
Me: Sigh. You’re the best. You are. You.