Going down the rabbit hole of WikiHow’s ‘Random Article‘ button can be a productive experience. You can pick up some desert island skills. You can also learn some things that will make other people stare at you blankly. Whatever I’m practically on the spectrum anyway you assholes. Here’s some recent highlights.

How to Make Jolly Ranchers


Fuck you I like em

How to “Say No” to Teenage Sex


I didn’t find this one useful

How to Look like a Princess


…Maybe if I had gotten this one first though.

How to Treat a Wound Created by an Impaled Object


So a guy walks into a bar and says, Any teenaged princesses want some jolly ranchers? You’ll never BELIEVE what happened next.

How to Avoid Being Served Court Papers or Notices


The saga continues.

How to Make an Ocean Diorama for Earth Day


OK this one doesn’t quite fit into the theme but is still a handy thing to know

How to Attract Birds


free minions

How to Identify a Gifted Child


more free minions

How to Tell Your Parents You Want to Act


Also applies to ‘Dance’

How to Forgive a Cheating Husband


see ‘stab wound,’ above


And finally the most essential skill of all

How to Tell the Difference between Essential Oil and Infused Oil


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