Going down the rabbit hole of WikiHow’s ‘Random Article‘ button can be a productive experience. You can pick up some desert island skills. You can also learn some things that will make other people stare at you blankly. Whatever I’m practically on the spectrum anyway you assholes. Here’s some recent highlights.

How to Make Jolly Ranchers

http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Jolly-Ranchers

Fuck you I like em

How to “Say No” to Teenage Sex

http://www.wikihow.com/Say-No-to-Teenage-Sex

I didn’t find this one useful

How to Look like a Princess

http://www.wikihow.com/Look-Like-a-Princess

…Maybe if I had gotten this one first though.

How to Treat a Wound Created by an Impaled Object

http://www.wikihow.com/Treat-a-Wound-Created-by-an-Impaled-Object

So a guy walks into a bar and says, Any teenaged princesses want some jolly ranchers? You’ll never BELIEVE what happened next.

How to Avoid Being Served Court Papers or Notices

http://www.wikihow.com/Avoid-Being-Served-Court-Papers-or-Notices

The saga continues.

How to Make an Ocean Diorama for Earth Day

http://www.wikihow.com/Make-an-Ocean-Diorama-for-Earth-Day

OK this one doesn’t quite fit into the theme but is still a handy thing to know

How to Attract Birds

http://www.wikihow.com/Attract-Birds

free minions

How to Identify a Gifted Child

http://www.wikihow.com/Identify-a-Gifted-Child

more free minions

How to Tell Your Parents You Want to Act

http://www.wikihow.com/Tell-Your-Parents-You-Want-to-Act

Also applies to ‘Dance’

How to Forgive a Cheating Husband

http://www.wikihow.com/Forgive-a-Cheating-Husband

see ‘stab wound,’ above

 

And finally the most essential skill of all

How to Tell the Difference between Essential Oil and Infused Oil

http://www.wikihow.com/Tell-the-Difference-Between-Essential-Oil-and-Infused-Oil

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