FakeDM.com provides really interesting funny and cool, artificial intelligence driven chat experiences where you get to interface with a digital dungeon master. You can do it in the style of a choose your own adventure or just freeform and completely type in your own commands. It’s pretty impressive how well it rolls with you and how well it understands the rules of dungeons and dragons.

Here is a conversation that I had with the dungeon bot


Today we are going to play a game of Dungeons and Dragons.

There are two different ways to play.
1 – Multiple choice, this is a more simplified and streamlined version. Where you simply choose from a number of options at every turn.
2 – Freeform, this is the more complex and open-ended version where you type in your actions or intentions at every step.

First thing is first, what style of game would you like to play from the above numbered options?

I choose 2

Great! You’ve chosen the Freeform text adventure. Now let’s create your character.

Please provide your character’s name, race, and class. For example: “Grakthar, Half-Orc Barbarian.”

Feel free to add any additional details if you like, or we can dive right into the adventure after you provide the basic info.

I am Witless Nick an incredibly stupid man, prone to Freudian slips but blessed with a massive overabundance of luck and often narrowly miss death by doing the wrong thing at the wrong time. I’m a human fighter

Welcome, Witless Nick, the incredibly stupid but incredibly lucky Human Fighter! Your knack for narrowly avoiding death by sheer dumb luck is legendary. You’ve somehow managed to bumble your way through life, and now you’re ready for a new adventure.

As you wander through the bustling town of Clumsyford, you find yourself standing in front of a large notice board filled with various job postings and quests. One of them catches your eye:

“Help Wanted: Brave adventurers needed to retrieve the lost artifact of the Ancient Mage, Archibald. Great reward offered. Inquire at Ye Olde Tavern.”

What would you like to do next?

  1. Head to Ye Olde Tavern to inquire about the job.
  2. Search for another job posting.
  3. Wander the town of Clumsyford and see what other opportunities arise.
  4. Take a nap under the notice board (because why not?).

Hit up the tavern and drink too much then ask about the job

Embracing the spirit of foolish decisions, you saunter into Ye Olde Tavern and immediately order too many tankards of the strongest ale they have. As you’re chugging down your copious amount of booze, you begin to feel the room spinning. Your drunkenness, however, doesn’t prevent you from remembering your purpose.

You stumble toward the barkeep, slurring your words, and ask about the job posting for the lost artifact of Archibald. The barkeep, a burly man with a bushy beard, raises an eyebrow at your inebriated state but decides to give you the details anyway.

“The artifact is said to be hidden deep within the Crypt of Confusion,” he explains. “We’ve had many adventurers try and retrieve it, but none have returned. It’s a dangerous place, filled with traps and monsters. But the reward is great, 5,000 gold pieces for the one who brings it back.”

What would you like to do next?

  1. Accept the job and head to the Crypt of Confusion, despite your drunken state.
  2. Ask the barkeep for more information about the artifact.
  3. Try to sober up before making a decision.
  4. Forget the job and challenge a random patron to a drinking contest.

Accept the Job

In your drunken haze, you enthusiastically accept the job and slur out a declaration of your intention to retrieve the artifact. You stumble out of Ye Olde Tavern, intent on finding the Crypt of Confusion.

As you wander through the town, you eventually find yourself outside its gates. By some stroke of luck, you manage to locate a signpost pointing the way to the Crypt of Confusion. With a hiccup and a determined grin, you set off on your adventure.

After several hours of walking, you arrive at the entrance to the Crypt of Confusion, a foreboding stone structure surrounded by overgrown vegetation. The entrance is a massive stone door, and above it is an inscription that reads, “Beware all who enter, for confusion awaits.”

What would you like to do next?

  1. Push open the stone door and enter the Crypt.
  2. Knock on the stone door and see if anyone answers.
  3. Sit down and wait for the effects of alcohol to wear off before entering.
  4. Yell out a challenge to the monsters inside the Crypt to come out and fight you.

Enter blind with no caution

With reckless abandon, you shove the massive stone door open and stumble into the dark depths of the Crypt of Confusion. As your eyes slowly adjust to the darkness, you realize that you’re standing in a dimly lit hallway with numerous doors lining its walls. The air is thick with dust and the smell of decay.

You decide to charge forward blindly, letting fate decide your path. With each door you pass, you wonder what kind of horrors and traps may lie behind them, but you don’t seem to care. Your drunkenness seems to fuel your bravery, or perhaps it’s simply impairing your judgment.

As you continue down the hallway, you suddenly trip on a protruding stone and fall face-first onto a large pressure plate on the floor. You hear the sound of gears shifting and mechanisms moving.

What would you like to do next?

  1. Jump up and try to dodge any potential traps activated by the pressure plate.
  2. Lie still and hope that whatever trap you’ve sprung doesn’t hit you.
  3. Yell out for help, hoping someone or something will come to your aid.
  4. Accept your fate and prepare for the worst.

Lie still and vomit a bit

You decide to lie still on the pressure plate, hoping that by some miracle, the trap won’t affect you. As you lay there, the excessive alcohol in your system catches up to you, and you can’t help but vomit a little on the cold stone floor of the crypt.

Miraculously, your decision to stay put pays off. An array of dart traps hidden within the walls begins to fire, but your prone position keeps you safe from their deadly trajectory. The darts whiz over your body, narrowly missing you as they embed themselves into the opposite wall.

With the darts spent and the trap seemingly deactivated, you can’t help but feel a pang of pride at having evaded danger with your unconventional tactics.

What would you like to do next?

  1. Get up, wipe your mouth, and continue down the hallway.
  2. Stay on the ground, crawl forward, and continue exploring the Crypt from this safe position.
  3. Search the area for a hidden door or passage.
  4. Take a nap right there, still lying in your own vomit.

Crawl

Choosing to embrace your newfound crawling strategy, you stay low to the ground and begin to make your way through the Crypt of Confusion on all fours. The cold stone floor is unpleasant against your hands and knees, but you’re confident that this approach will help you avoid any further traps.

As you crawl along, you pass several more doors with no indication of where they might lead. Suddenly, you hear faint chittering sounds coming from one of the doors to your left.

What would you like to do next?

  1. Investigate the chittering sounds by opening the door.
  2. Ignore the sounds and continue crawling down the hallway.
  3. Knock on the door to see if the source of the sounds responds.
  4. Yell out a drunken warning to whatever is making the sounds, threatening them with your unarmed combat prowess.

Burst in sword drawn and vomiting

Unable to contain your curiosity and with a sudden surge of inebriated courage, you leap to your feet, draw your sword, and kick open the door. As you burst into the room, an uncontrollable wave of vomit escapes your mouth, adding to your dramatic entrance.

Inside the room, you find a group of small, startled kobolds. They’re huddled around a makeshift table, playing some sort of card game. The chittering sound you heard was their conversation.

Covered in vomit and brandishing your sword, you stand before the kobolds, who stare back at you with a mixture of fear and confusion. It’s clear that they weren’t expecting any human company, especially not one in such a state.

What would you like to do next?

  1. Apologize for the intrusion and try to join their card game.
  2. Engage the kobolds in combat, hoping to eliminate any potential threats.
  3. Attempt to communicate with them, asking for directions to the artifact.
  4. Close the door and pretend like this whole encounter never happened.

Communicate and throw money at them for the secrets you need

Deciding to take a more diplomatic approach, you sheathe your sword and try to communicate with the kobolds. You reach into your coin purse and pull out a handful of gold, tossing it onto their table. The kobolds’ eyes widen at the sight of the shiny coins, and their fear begins to subside.

In broken Common, you ask them for any information they have about the lost artifact of Archibald. One of the bolder kobolds, who seems to be the leader of the group, speaks up.

“Artifact? Oh, yes. Deep, deep in crypt. Much danger. But we help, for gold,” the kobold leader says, greedily eyeing the coins.

The kobolds agree to guide you through the crypt in exchange for the gold you’ve provided them. With the promise of more gold upon completion of your mission, they seem eager and excited to help.

What would you like to do next?

  1. Allow the kobolds to lead the way and follow their guidance.
  2. Demand that they draw you a map instead, so you can navigate the crypt on your own.
  3. Try to negotiate a smaller payment for their assistance.
  4. Change your mind and challenge the kobolds to a game of cards for their help.

Make outlandish promises and set out with my kobold army. Altering my outfit to appear more like them. Also try to learn their language as we go

With grand gestures and outlandish promises of wealth and glory, you convince the kobolds to join your cause and form a small kobold army. They chatter excitedly amongst themselves, clearly thrilled at the prospect of adventure and the chance to earn more gold.

You take the initiative to alter your outfit, using bits of cloth and material you find in the room to make yourself look more like the kobolds. Your new comrades seem amused and appreciative of your attempts to blend in.

As you journey deeper into the crypt, you also make an effort to learn their language. The kobolds are more than willing to teach you, and you begin to pick up simple phrases and expressions.

Led by your newly-formed kobold army, you continue your search for the lost artifact of Archibald. As you navigate the dark corridors and treacherous chambers, you can’t help but feel that your luck and newfound allies might just be the key to your success.

What would you like to do next?

  1. Keep following the kobolds’ guidance as you delve deeper into the crypt.
  2. Stop and ask the kobolds about their lives and experiences in the crypt.
  3. Start to devise a plan for how to utilize your kobold army in future battles.
  4. Take a break and teach the kobolds a human game or song to pass the time.

Keep going and share some food with them increasing our bond

You decide to press on, following your kobold allies as they lead you deeper into the crypt. Along the way, you take the opportunity to share some of your rations with them, further strengthening the bond between you and your newfound companions.

The kobolds seem grateful for the food and your willingness to share, and they eagerly accept your offerings. As you travel further, you notice that their initial fear and apprehension have been replaced by a sense of camaraderie and loyalty. They seem more than willing to risk their lives to help you achieve your goal.

After navigating a maze of twisting passages and treacherous chambers, you and your kobold army finally arrive at a large, ornate door, adorned with ancient runes and elaborate carvings. An eerie, magical energy seems to emanate from the door, and your kobold friends glance at each other nervously.

What would you like to do next?

  1. Attempt to open the door and face whatever lies beyond.
  2. Consult your kobold allies and ask if they know anything about the door.
  3. Search for a way to disable or bypass any potential traps on the door.
  4. Have a quick dance party with the kobolds to boost everyone’s morale before opening the door.

Dance party and the suddenly dash forward and yank the door open

You decide that a quick dance party is just what you and your kobold army need to boost morale before facing whatever lies beyond the door. You start to move to a rhythm only you can hear, encouraging the kobolds to join in. They hesitantly begin dancing, but soon enough, they’re fully engaged in the impromptu celebration.

With everyone’s spirits lifted, you suddenly dash forward, surprising your kobold friends, and yank the door open with a burst of adrenaline-fueled strength.

The door swings open to reveal a large chamber, dimly lit by flickering torches lining the walls. In the center of the room, resting on a pedestal, is an ornate, glowing artifact – the lost artifact of Archibald.

However, your triumph is short-lived, as you notice a massive, skeletal figure guarding the artifact. It turns its hollow gaze toward you and your kobold army, a sinister aura surrounding it.

What would you like to do next?

  1. Charge at the skeletal guardian with your kobold army and engage it in battle.
  2. Attempt to negotiate with the guardian, explaining your quest to retrieve the artifact.
  3. Try to devise a clever plan to distract the guardian and steal the artifact.
  4. Run back out the door, screaming in terror, and hope the guardian doesn’t follow.

Charge in with your army screaming in kobold and throw everything I’ve got into it

With a battle cry in the kobold language, you rally your newfound comrades and charge headlong into the chamber. The kobolds follow your lead, screeching and brandishing their makeshift weapons. United in purpose, you throw yourselves into the fray with reckless abandon.

As you engage the skeletal guardian, you quickly realize that your combined forces are more formidable than you thought. The kobolds work together, nimbly dodging the guardian’s powerful strikes while chipping away at its defenses. You take advantage of every opening, striking with your sword and unleashing your full might upon the undead foe.

Despite the guardian’s immense strength and sinister aura, your determination and the fierce loyalty of your kobold army begin to wear it down. With each passing moment, the guardian’s movements become slower and more labored, its once-terrifying presence now faltering.

Finally, with one last, powerful strike, you shatter the skeletal guardian, and its remains crash to the floor in a heap of bones and dust. The room falls silent, and your kobold allies erupt in cheers and celebration.

With the guardian defeated, you approach the pedestal and claim the lost artifact of Archibald. The task is complete, and your kobold army has proven their worth as invaluable allies in this quest.

What would you like to do next?

  1. Head back to the town of Clumsyford with the artifact and claim your reward.
  2. Share a heartfelt farewell with your kobold friends

Attempt to seduce a female kobold to show my commitment and ask the group to stay with me forever to be brothers until the end. Then set out to sell the artifact

In an attempt to strengthen your bond with the kobolds and show your commitment, you decide to try and seduce a female kobold. While your advances are met with confusion and a mix of curiosity, the gesture is seen as a sign of affection and camaraderie. You then express your desire for the kobold group to stay with you forever, pledging to be brothers until the end.

The kobolds, touched by your heartfelt words, agree to stay by your side and share in future adventures. United as a true band of brothers, you set out, artifact in hand, to sell it and reap the rewards.

Your strange but loyal group of adventurers returns to Clumsyford, where the townspeople are awestruck at the sight of a human and a group of kobolds standing side by side. You approach the buyer for the artifact, who pays you the promised 5,000 gold pieces, though not without some bewilderment at your newfound allies.

With the gold in hand and your kobold brothers by your side, you can’t help but feel that this is just the beginning of a grand and unpredictable journey filled with friendship, danger, and perhaps a little more seduction.

I want to fully equip the kobolds with the finest weapons and armor and seek a new challenge

With your newfound wealth, you decide to outfit your loyal kobold comrades with the finest weapons and armor available. You visit the local blacksmith and purchase an array of deadly blades, sturdy shields, and well-crafted armor, custom-fit for your small but fierce army.

The kobolds, now fully equipped and looking quite formidable, are eager to embark on your next adventure together. As you walk through Clumsyford, you catch wind of a new challenge that has emerged:

Whispers abound of a powerful dragon that has taken residence in the nearby Shadowmire Caves. The fearsome beast has been terrorizing the countryside, and the local lord has issued a hefty bounty for its head.

What would you like to do next?

  1. Accept the dragon-slaying quest and head to the Shadowmire Caves with your well-equipped kobold army.
  2. Investigate the rumors further and gather more information before making a decision.
  3. Visit the lord’s castle and negotiate an even higher bounty for slaying the dragon.
  4. Decide that dragon slaying is overrated and go on a pub crawl with your kobold friends instead.

Blown the rest of my money on a massive sword that’s effective against dragons, and set out with my army to find this stupid dragon

Eager to make your mark as a dragon slayer, you decide to spend the rest of your gold on an impressive, massive sword specifically crafted to be effective against dragons. Its blade is etched with enchantments, and the grip and guard are adorned with intricate dragon motifs. The weapon’s weight feels reassuring in your hands, and you can’t help but imagine the fear it will strike into the heart of the dragon.

With your newly-purchased dragon-slaying sword and your well-equipped kobold army by your side, you set out for the Shadowmire Caves. The journey takes you through dense forests and murky swamplands, but your determination and camaraderie never waver.

After several days of travel, you finally arrive at the entrance to the Shadowmire Caves. A dark, gaping maw in the side of a hill, the entrance looks both foreboding and ominous. The distant echo of draconic growls can be heard from within the depths, sending shivers down your spine.

What would you like to do next?

  1. Rally your kobolds and charge into the cave, weapons drawn and ready for battle.
  2. Proceed cautiously into the cave, trying to avoid detection by the dragon.
  3. Send a brave kobold scout ahead to gather information about the dragon’s lair.
  4. Attempt to lure the dragon out of the cave with a clever ruse or distraction.

Stop to learn more kobold and continue my efforts at a kobold wife. Then after we are more closely bonded then ever, sneak in as a single unit of kobold ninjas to scout this dragon

Before venturing further into the Shadowmire Caves, you decide to take some time to learn more of the kobold language, further solidifying your bond with your comrades. As you become more fluent, you continue your efforts to woo a kobold wife. You serenade her with songs in their native tongue, shower her with compliments, and offer gifts of trinkets and baubles. Over time, the female kobold is won over by your persistence and charm, and she agrees to become your kobold bride.

With your connection to the kobolds stronger than ever and your newfound love, you and your army decide to approach the dragon’s lair with the stealth and cunning of kobold ninjas. Together, you move silently through the cave, sticking to the shadows and avoiding any loose rocks or bones that might betray your presence.

As you delve deeper into the cave, the temperature rises, and the smell of sulfur fills the air – clear signs of a dragon’s presence. Eventually, you come across a vast chamber illuminated by the flickering glow of magma pools. There, resting on a mound of treasure, is the fearsome dragon, its scales shimmering in the dim light.

What would you like to do next?

  1. Launch a surprise attack on the dragon, hoping to catch it off-guard.
  2. Attempt to communicate with the dragon and try to negotiate a peaceful resolution.
  3. Observe the dragon’s behavior and devise a plan to steal its hoard

Send the kobolds to flank while I stumble out into the open and attempt to trick the dragon with sheer hubris and bald face lying

You devise a daring plan, instructing your kobold comrades to split up and stealthily flank the dragon on both sides. The kobolds nod in understanding, their eyes filled with determination and trust in your leadership. They disappear into the shadows, ready to support you from their concealed positions.

With your kobold army in place, you take a deep breath, muster all your hubris, and stride confidently into the open chamber. The dragon, caught off guard by your unexpected presence, lifts its enormous head and fixes its piercing gaze upon you.

In the face of this terrifying and majestic creature, you draw upon your powers of deception and launch into a bold-faced lie, weaving a tale of how you’ve come to pay tribute to the great dragon and that your presence has been foretold in ancient prophecies.

The dragon listens intently, curiosity and intrigue overcoming its initial surprise. It is difficult to read the dragon’s thoughts, but it seems momentarily captivated by your audacious speech.

What would you like to do next?

  1. Use this opportunity to launch a surprise attack with the help of your flanking kobold army.
  2. Continue trying to deceive the dragon, hoping to put it at ease and gain its trust.
  3. Attempt to barter with the dragon, offering it more riches in exchange for leaving the countryside in peace.
  4. Boldly demand that the dragon share its hoard with you, claiming that it is your rightful due according to the prophecy.

Explain as is the dragon is stupid or feeble that there is an extremely well known prophecy that this cave will explode in one hour. Really double down on this and add details to make it seem like everyone knows this and you just came to be polite and figured he would be gone already. Make it sound like it would be foolish not to leave immediately

Feigning surprise at the dragon’s apparent ignorance of the “well-known prophecy,” you launch into an elaborate tale about how this very cave is destined to explode in just one hour. You pepper your story with intricate details and express amazement at the dragon’s lack of knowledge regarding the impending catastrophe.

“You know, Great Dragon, I’m really quite shocked you haven’t heard about this,” you say, oozing incredulity. “The prophecy has been common knowledge among the mortal races for centuries. I came here mainly as a courtesy, thinking you’d already have vacated the premises.”

As you speak, you can see the dragon’s eyes narrow with uncertainty, the seeds of doubt taking root. It seems at least somewhat convinced by your impassioned delivery, but you can tell that it’s still weighing the validity of your claims.

What would you like to do next?

  1. Press the urgency of the situation and convince the dragon to leave immediately.
  2. Offer to help the dragon find a new, safer lair as proof of your goodwill.
  3. Suggest that the dragon should investigate the prophecy itself to verify the truth.
  4. Casually mention that the dragon’s hoard will also be destroyed and see if that sways its decision.

Use hand signals to indicate that the kobolds should start robbing the place blind. And then kindly offer to help the dragon find a new cave in a slightly condescending manner that implies it’s really dropped the ball by not doing this already.

While maintaining eye contact with the dragon, you subtly give hand signals to your kobold comrades, instructing them to commence pilfering the great hoard. As your nimble allies move silently among the treasure, pocketing gold and gems, you address the dragon with a kind but condescending tone.

“Look, Great Dragon, it’s clear that you’ve been out of the loop on this prophecy business. But, worry not! In the spirit of cooperation, I can help you find a new, much safer cave to call home. After all, nobody wants to be caught in a catastrophic explosion, right? We’ve got to act now, though. Time’s ticking.”

The dragon, now visibly conflicted, considers your offer. Its pride is clearly wounded by your condescending manner, but the uncertainty about the prophecy and the impending explosion pushes it to make a decision. With a heavy sigh, the dragon agrees to your proposal.

As the dragon prepares to leave its lair, your kobold friends continue to stealthily raid the hoard. You’ve managed to trick the fearsome beast and secure a small fortune in stolen treasure.

What would you like to do next?

  1. Lead the dragon to a new cave, keeping your promise and hoping it doesn’t discover your deception.
  2. Bid the dragon farewell and make a hasty retreat as it departs, hoping it doesn’t notice the missing treasure.
  3. Try to push your luck and convince the dragon to give you

Introduce the dragon to your army and lie that your group was formed to protect this dragon. Help him find a new cave and send some kobolds to sell loot and come back with elaborate dragon themed furniture. Then invite him to join the party after overwhelming him with gifts

Deciding to further the deception, you introduce the dragon to your kobold army, spinning a tale of how your group was actually formed to protect and serve this mighty beast. The dragon, already off balance from the prophecy revelation, listens to your explanation and regards the kobolds with curiosity.

You lead the dragon to a new cave, one that is both spacious and hidden from prying eyes. While the dragon settles in, you send a few of your kobold friends to sell some of the pilfered loot and return with extravagant dragon-themed furniture to adorn the new lair.

As the dragon marvels at the luxurious gifts, you make your final pitch, inviting it to join your party and embark on a grand adventure together. Overwhelmed by your generosity and the unexpected turn of events, the dragon agrees to join your motley crew, becoming an unlikely but powerful ally.

And so, with a dragon on your side and a band of loyal kobolds at your back, you continue your journey, ready to tackle whatever challenges lay ahead.

What would you like to do next?

  1. Return to Clumsyford and show off your newfound dragon ally to the townspeople.
  2. Set off in search of new quests and adventures, pushing your team’s limits.
  3. Take a break from adventuring to focus on training and bonding with your new dragon companion.
  4. Begin planning an epic heist with the help of your unique and powerful team.

Train and bond everyone and then plan a heist. Also make dragon armor that’s just next level epic

You decide that before embarking on your next grand adventure, it’s essential to strengthen the bond between your unique crew of adventurers and to help them train together. You set up a makeshift training camp where you, the kobolds, and your new dragon ally can practice combat tactics, develop trust, and learn to work as a cohesive unit.

During this time, you also commission a set of awe-inspiring dragon armor for your new draconic companion. Crafted from the finest materials and intricately adorned with details, the armor not only provides protection but also exudes an aura of majesty that brings out the dragon’s regal nature.

With your team now more skilled and bonded than ever, it’s time to put your talents to the test. You gather everyone together and begin planning an epic heist that will challenge your abilities and send a message to the entire realm: there’s a new band of adventurers in town, and they mean business.

What would you like to do next?

  1. Research potential targets for your daring heist, looking for a suitable challenge and a worthy prize.
  2. Reach out to contacts and allies for inside information or assistance with the heist.
  3. Prepare your team with a series of smaller heists to test your coordination and teamwork.
  4. Throw caution to the wind and immediately attempt to rob the most heavily guarded fortress in the realm.

Caution to the wind my friend. I’m witless nick

Embracing your inner “Witless Nick,” you decide to go big or go home. Throwing caution to the wind, you set your sights on the most heavily guarded fortress in the realm – the Royal Treasury of King Alistair IV. The treasury is said to hold not only vast amounts of gold and precious gems, but also powerful magical artifacts collected over generations.

With your fearless kobold comrades, your dragon companion clad in its majestic armor, and your own daring spirit, you embark on the most audacious heist the kingdom has ever seen.

As you approach the fortress, you quickly realize that its defenses are no joke – heavily armed guards, impenetrable walls, and a myriad of magical protections stand between you and the treasure within. But your team is not easily deterred; if anything, the challenge only serves to stoke the fires of determination burning within each of you.

Utilizing a combination of stealth, cunning, brute force, and the occasional well-timed dragon breath, you manage to infiltrate the fortress and bypass its myriad obstacles. The adrenaline of the heist pushes you and your team to new heights of skill and daring, and you can’t help but feel invincible as you move ever closer to the treasure.

As you finally stand before the massive vault door that houses the royal treasury, what would you like to do next?

  1. Attempt to pick the lock with your own skills and tools.
  2. Have your kobolds work their nimble

Have the kobolds disassemble the door and remove it with the dragons help. Meanwhile you gather several of the servants and hire them with triple pay to help you carry this loot out. Offering more than they make in a year.

You decide that subtlety has its limits, and with the combined skills of your team, you can simply remove the vault door. You instruct the kobolds to disassemble the door while the dragon uses its strength to assist in the process. With their teamwork and ingenuity, the door is soon removed, revealing the dazzling hoard within.

Meanwhile, you approach several servants working in the fortress and make them an offer they can’t refuse. You promise to pay them triple their current wages if they help carry the loot out of the treasury, an amount that far exceeds what they would make in a year. Tempted by the generous offer, the servants agree to join your endeavor.

Together, your team and the hired servants begin to transport the treasure out of the fortress. Your audacious plan has succeeded, and you marvel at the amazing heist you’ve pulled off with your unique band of adventurers.

As you make your escape, what would you like to do next?

  1. Return to Clumsyford and celebrate your daring heist with a grand feast.
  2. Find a hidden location to stash your newfound wealth before deciding on your next adventure.
  3. Use the treasure to fund a charitable cause, becoming a Robin Hood-like figure in the realm.
  4. Seek out new challenges, with your ever-growing team and newfound wealth at your disposal.

Build a new fortress atop Clumsyford of awe inspiring scale and strength. Name it the “Fortress of Boom Boom Baby” and make sure it has a dragon garage. Invite the servants to remain with you at triple pay and start an empire based on mixed races

With your newfound wealth and a vision of unity, you decide to build a magnificent fortress atop Clumsyford, one that will serve as a symbol of strength and solidarity among all races. The fortress, dubbed “Fortress of Boom Boom Baby,” is designed to be both awe-inspiring and welcoming, a place where individuals of all backgrounds can come together and prosper.

A special “dragon garage” is built to accommodate your draconic ally, ensuring it has a comfortable and suitable home within the fortress. You invite the servants you hired during the heist to stay with you, paying them triple their previous wages and giving them important roles in the management and upkeep of the fortress.

Word of your daring escapades and the construction of the Fortress of Boom Boom Baby spreads far and wide, attracting people from all walks of life. Your dream of fostering a society based on cooperation and harmony among mixed races begins to take root, as more and more individuals flock to your cause.

Under your guidance, Clumsyford and its surroundings transform into a thriving, diverse empire, a shining beacon of hope in a world often plagued by conflict and prejudice.

What would you like to do next?

  1. Plan a grand opening ceremony for the Fortress of Boom Boom Baby, inviting dignitaries and adventurers from across the realm.
  2. Focus on expanding your empire’s territories by forming alliances, conquering rival factions, or establishing new settlements.
  3. Embark on a new adventure, using your fortress as a base

Spend an exorbitant amount to find the greatest trainers in the land. Upgrade our kobold army and dragon companion into an unparalleled fighting force. Hire a mage to make everyone near immortal and train for years for the next big heist.

Determined to make your team an unparalleled fighting force, you spare no expense in seeking out the greatest trainers in the land. You hire skilled combat instructors, seasoned strategists, and powerful mages to shape your kobold army and dragon companion into formidable warriors.

As your forces train and hone their skills, you contract a powerful mage to research a spell that could grant your team a form of near immortality, ensuring your longevity and success in future endeavors.

Years pass, and your team’s reputation as a legendary fighting force grows. You continue to plan the next big heist, aiming to make it even grander and more audacious than the last. The realm speaks of your crew in hushed whispers, a group of extraordinary individuals who have defied the odds and reshaped the world.

As you prepare to embark on your next daring adventure, what would you like to do?

  1. Target the kingdom’s most secure vault, said to house a legendary artifact of immense power.
  2. Infiltrate the stronghold of an evil warlord, liberating the subjugated people and claiming their vast wealth.
  3. Uncover the hidden tomb of an ancient ruler, rumored to be filled with unimaginable riches and deadly traps.
  4. Take on a breathtaking heist that spans multiple dimensions, challenging the very fabric of reality itself.

Challenge reality in a heist that spans dimensions and time in an attempt to steal a source of limitless power and a dagger that let’s you see everyone naked

Excited by the prospect of a heist that defies conventional understanding, you set your sights on a challenge that spans dimensions and time itself. You’ve heard rumors of a source of limitless power, an artifact so potent that it can reshape the very fabric of existence, and a dagger that grants its wielder the bizarre ability to see everyone naked – a trivial yet intriguing bonus.

With your well-trained kobold army, your formidable dragon companion, and your own cunning and determination, you embark on a mind-bending adventure that will test the limits of your ingenuity and courage.

Your journey takes you through alternate realities, surreal landscapes, and temporal rifts, as you chase after the elusive artifacts. You face strange creatures and mind-warping puzzles, pushing your team’s skills and resourcefulness to the brink.

As you close in on the objects of your desire, the final stretch of your heist comes into view. With your team at your back and the secrets of the multiverse within your grasp, what would you like to do next?

  1. Attempt a daring and synchronized multi-dimensional theft to secure both artifacts at once.
  2. Split your team, sending half to secure the limitless power source and the other half to acquire the naked-seeing dagger.
  3. Create a diversion in one dimension, drawing attention away from your true objective in the other dimension.
  4. Challenge the guardian of the artifacts to a high-stakes game of wits, with the prizes being the source of limitless

Synchronized go for it all

You decide that a synchronized multi-dimensional theft is the most thrilling and daring approach to secure both artifacts at once. With your courageous team by your side, you devise a plan that will push your skills and coordination to the limit.

As the moment of truth approaches, you rally your kobold army and dragon companion, sharing a final exchange of determined nods and hearty backslaps. The tension in the air is palpable, but so is the excitement – this is the heist you’ve been working towards for years.

With precision timing and expert coordination, your team leaps into action, simultaneously targeting both artifacts. The air is filled with a cacophony of spellcasting, the clashing of weapons, and the roars of your dragon ally, as you navigate the treacherous fabric of space and time.

Against all odds, your team manages to secure both the source of limitless power and the naked-seeing dagger. As you reunite in your own dimension, you can’t help but marvel at the incredible adventure you’ve undertaken and the unparalleled talent of your team.

With these newly acquired artifacts in hand, your legend grows ever greater, and the possibilities for your future adventures are seemingly endless.

What would you like to do next?

  1. Return to the Fortress of Boom Boom Baby and research the full potential of your newly acquired artifacts.
  2. Share the story of your incredible heist with the world, further enhancing your reputation as a legendary adventurer.
  3. Set off on a new adventure,

Return to the fortress. Hire the finest gnome engineers to use the power source to power all of your empire. Creating a Utopian land of infinite riches. Expand the city and your empire to be the biggest in the land. Hire an army of ninjas and train them in dark magic.

You return to the Fortress of Boom Boom Baby with your newly acquired artifacts, eager to harness their power for the good of your empire. You hire the finest gnome engineers to study the source of limitless power and find a way to use it to benefit your people.

Through the expert work of your engineers, your empire is transformed into a utopian land of infinite riches, powered by the inexhaustible energy provided by the artifact. As word of your achievements and benevolence spreads, more and more people flock to your domain, and your empire expands to become the largest and most prosperous in the land.

Not one to rest on your laurels, you continue to seek out new ways to protect and enhance your realm. Recognizing the value of a skilled and versatile defense force, you hire an army of ninjas and provide them with training in the arts of dark magic, creating an elite force that is both powerful and loyal.

With your burgeoning empire thriving under your guidance and a formidable army by your side, you stand as a beacon of hope and prosperity in a world that has seen its share of darkness.

What would you like to do next?

  1. Host a grand celebration in honor of your empire’s achievements and success.
  2. Continue expanding your empire by strategizing diplomatic and military campaigns.
  3. Seek out new challenges and adventures, ever eager to push the limits of your abilities.
  4. Retire from your life of adventure, confident in the legacy you’ve built and the people you’ve

Expand my empire using my vast wealth to dominate all nearby countries with diplomacy or overwhelming force. Make it law that everyone must marry a different race to expand the gene pool

Determined to expand your empire and promote unity among all races, you decide to leverage your vast wealth and influence to bring nearby countries under your domain. Your diplomatic efforts focus on forging alliances and fostering goodwill, but when necessary, you’re prepared to deploy your formidable army to assert dominance.

As new lands and peoples come under your rule, you enact a revolutionary law: everyone must marry someone of a different race to expand the gene pool and strengthen the bonds between all races. This groundbreaking policy further cements your empire’s reputation as a beacon of unity and cooperation.

Over time, your empire grows into a sprawling, multicultural haven, where people of all backgrounds live, work, and thrive together. The world looks upon your realm as a shining example of what can be achieved through understanding and cooperation, and your name goes down in history as a visionary leader who changed the course of the world.

What would you like to do next?

  1. Establish an institution dedicated to promoting and researching multiculturalism and interracial harmony.
  2. Continue expanding your empire even further, with the goal of uniting the entire world under your progressive rule.
  3. Focus on the internal development of your empire, ensuring that your citizens are well-educated and have access to the best services.
  4. Take a step back from governing, trusting in the capable hands of your advisors and allies, and set off on a new adventure for personal growth.

For old times sake gather the kobolds and the dragon for a simple adventure. To beat the shit out of some owlbears and save as many orphans as we can find. Each orphan will become my child and be split equally into my will.

With fond memories of your past adventures, you gather your loyal kobold companions and your dragon ally for a simple but memorable quest: to defeat owlbears and save as many orphans as you can find.

You and your team travel through the countryside, eventually encountering a group of owlbears that have been terrorizing a nearby village. Drawing upon your years of experience and teamwork, you vanquish the menacing beasts, much to the relief of the villagers.

As you ask around about any orphans in need of help, the villagers direct you to several children who have lost their families. With each orphan you find and rescue, you formally adopt them as your own, ensuring they will have a loving home and a bright future. You also make it clear that your estate will be equally divided among them in your will.

The shared experiences with your kobolds, dragon, and newfound family only serve to strengthen the bond between you all. At the end of each day, you feel a deep sense of fulfillment and joy, knowing that you’ve made a lasting impact on the lives of these children.

What would you like to do next?

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