Home

Theory 124

[10:19] WeaselBringer: pshaw since it won’t work, I would never do that anyway
[10:20] WeaselBringer: that’s immoral and wrong
[10:20] Striker: hehe
[10:24] WeaselBringer: http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=3264
[10:38] Striker: I would never fly with an airline that didnt let me keep my sword in the isle side of my seat
[10:38] WeaselBringer: what if you’re a lefty
[10:39] Striker: what if I was a lefty on the right side of the plane?
[10:41] WeaselBringer: what if you dual-wield
[10:41] WeaselBringer: or are ambidexterous and have a middle seat on overseas flight
[10:42] Striker: middle seats would mean people on each side

[10:49] WeaselBringer: okay so what if you use a katana and a short sword but favor your left but are seated against the bulkhead near the rear like a delta flight, and the terrorists have sai’s and they come from the right but leading with their weak hand, does that call for shurikens and are they even possible, or is it best to just attempt to cut through the old woman screaming blocking the path from your ‘Vibrating Dragon’ Stance?
[10:54] Striker: 9 out or 10 girls prefer the "vibrating dragon"
[10:57] WeaselBringer: yes but what do terrorists prefer?
Ninjas!

[10:58] Striker: thats really up to the terrorist… the IRA likes C4, the arabs like sub machine guns, and Nick likes starbucks
[11:00] WeaselBringer: so let’s assume they’re garden variety arab ninjas… armed with ohhhh let’s say "Salad forks" and willing to do whatever it takes to get the plane to do a barrel roll. And you’re like a Type-B Ninja but have a haunted past from watching your parents killed when you were 7 and being raised by pandas that kill peoples parents and you recently made the connection
[11:02] Striker: how many pandas were in the ninja panda tribe?
[11:05] WeaselBringer: I never said they were ninja pandas only parent killing pandas, the ninja pandas are indigenous to malaysia and really only come out for the parades anymore. But I digress, there are 14 of the PK pandas and most of them taught to at least stand on their hind legs, ride a bicycle, and field strip an MP5 in a combat situation – However they are fond of eating trees during times of political tension… much like the ‘forest degradation during the soviet inhabitance of malaysia’ as you well know

[11:08] Striker: of course… any child would know that…. however, if the pandas weren’t ninjas, how did I get my Ninja type-B certification? I can hardly answer your question without all the details…. why, that would be like you asking me to bake you a chocolate cake and not specifying what type of mustard you want in it.
[11:10] WeaselBringer: okay well we’ve all studied quantum mechanics enough to see what you mean with the mustard theory, however The B-Cert program is now offered by several prestigious Ninja colleges sprinkled around southern maine and most of detroit. You’d know this if you ever checked your secret decoder ring. But alas we’re off topic, details are unfixed, there is simply a type-B in a crisis situation #443-E (arab/ninja/delta flight) – And immediate action is required to insure the safety of the gigantic box of anthrax also housed on the plane which is flying 200 feet above the white house
[11:16] WeaselBringer: any theories
You see what I'm saying then

[11:17] Striker: Oooh.. its a Delta Flight… that simplifies things a lot. As everyone knows, anthrax can be trained.. much like your common bath-tub variety dolphin. Keeping this in mind, it’s very likely that the delta pilot will have been trained by killer gorillas (who are the unlikely allies of the giant parent killing pandas). Therefore, its a simple matter of making the anthrax fly the plane while the pilot and ninja type-b shoot all the non-terrorist passengers. When they are all dead, it will be easy to identify who the terrorists are which will make it much easier to take them out

[11:20] WeaselBringer: I see! Then it’s a simple sweep and clear with heavy use of chemical warfare and the anthrax can radio ahead to assemble a fleet of coroners to distribute points, all the bases are covered! You’re a genius, you make it sound so simple, delta pilots are inherently trigger happy anyway and anthrax I hear has become more friendly over the years, I have to notify the president, let me use my super-secret cock-ring phone to dial Don Adams, He WON’T believe this! You should teach this stuff you know Well then it must be true

[11:25] Striker: I am an occasional guest speaker at the university of oxford, although my 2 hour speech on “painful ways of killin’ foo’s who dun be fuckin’ wit mah shit” is only a very small part of the “how to draw pretty pink bunny rabbits” class
[11:25] WeaselBringer: ah but a inspired lecture to be sure

 

Comments

comments