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The Guide for all Men

[13:06] fritofiend: ok
[13:06] fritofiend: how do you get a girl to do anal
[13:06] fritofiend: and i dont mean forcing her hand in my ass
[13:06] JohnSmith: hit her in the head with a brick, is the short answer
[13:06] fritofiend: lol
[13:07] JohnSmith: but if you’re romantic, you can paint a nice message on the brick, Like “Say Goodbye to your ass Cherry, Love Jerry” if your name is Jerry
[13:08] fritofiend: sweet
[13:09] fritofiend: maybe its cos i wrote “because your pussy’s too hairy, love robby”
[13:09] fritofiend: that doesnt rhyme… that why
[13:09] JohnSmith: with you it would be like “I’ve put my knobby in your bobby-hole, love Robby doll”
[13:09] fritofiend: chicks never give up anally for guys that dont rhyme
[13:10] fritofiend: lol
[13:10] JohnSmith: “or Abandon all tightness, ye who enter here”
[13:10] fritofiend: lol
[13:11] fritofiend: i dont see what tightness has to do with it
[13:11] fritofiend: i just want to degrade her
[13:11] JohnSmith: well if your penis were bigger than a thumbtack….
[13:11] JohnSmith: ah
[13:11] fritofiend: damnit tim said a pin
[13:11] JohnSmith: in that case put a condom on the brick and put that in her ass and then beat her unconcious with your dick, then play the whole thing off the next morning as “female problems”
[13:12] fritofiend: thats what i did last time
[13:12] fritofiend: she still didnt give me anal
[13:13] JohnSmith: hmm i’d say its time for desperate measures
[13:14] fritofiend: sneak it in ?
[13:15] JohnSmith: lure her into the bedroom with a piece of cake with a tampon on it (the females irresistible treat) and when she comes through the door hit her in the face with a shovel until one of you reaches orgasm, offer her the cake for anal or the shovel for refusal for the next several hours and eventually, like a disobedient puppy, she will reach the conclusion that cake and a dick in the ass is better than a shovel in your face and no cake at all
[13:16] JohnSmith: From then on you only have to mention betty crocker and she’ll be flashing the rusty sheriffs badge quicker than a gay porn expo – champion pants dropper
[13:18] JohnSmith: Remember not to let up, its best to find some bungee cords and attach yourself strategically, so that your first penetration lasts up to several days without stopping, despite the mess this creates it will generate a feeling of comfort while ass-reamed and then you can safely ‘slip-in’ during sleeping times without waking her
[13:18] fritofiend: im gonna make this a blog
[13:19] WeaselBringer: I’ll submit it to Fuhnny
[13:19] fritofiend: sweet

 

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