State Superiority #2

2:25:10 PM sikkitten: anything new and exciting in CA?
2:29:39 PM sikkitten: entertain meeeeeee!
2:30:50 PM weaselbringer: all of california is now a sovereign state and everyone has been declared king
2:31:17 PM sikkitten: Sweet.
2:31:33 PM weaselbringer: it’s been determined by our governor (who has saved the world many times – according to the historical videos) that we will need the rest of the US to act as our subjects in order to support this many “Kings”
2:32:02 PM weaselbringer: But he’s assured us that we are all indeed god’s chosen few, plus we banned religion and made abortion mandatory for anyone with an IQ below 158
2:32:34 PM weaselbringer: I cheated on my “Smart enough to live in calfornia test” to get 156 so… free abortions
2:32:34 PM sikkitten: how can you be God’s chosen few if religion is banned?
2:32:58 PM weaselbringer: We’re also all gods, so we’re our own chosen few to be king by the only deity we acknowledge which is ourselves
2:33:10 PM weaselbringer: its very complicated for you “Other” people
2:33:33 PM sikkitten: yeah.
2:33:59 PM sikkitten: See…that’s why I can’t live in CA.   I’m not smart enough to understand the laws.
2:39:41 PM sikkitten: entertain me!
2:41:16 PM weaselbringer: Lesser Known Fact: California is actually a chunk of heaven that fell to earth and wiped out Northern mexico
2:41:29 PM weaselbringer: we also killed the dinosaurs, but I think we’ve made up for that
2:41:32 PM sikkitten: Well, duh!
2:41:37 PM sikkitten: aww!
2:41:42 PM sikkitten: I like dinosaurs!
2:41:48 PM weaselbringer: Dude, they were SO rude, I”m talking aggro
2:42:43 PM weaselbringer: they were all, “Why are you causing catastrophic earthquakes and poisonous typhoons and” blah blah blah, I swear if they could keep their mind off their meat and their eggs for ONE Second
2:42:47 PM weaselbringer: they wouldn’t have been wiped out
2:43:14 PM weaselbringer: but no, it’s always eat eat eat with them and then breed and protect these eggs, or go eat the eggs, brains the size of kittens you know…
2:43:30 PM sikkitten: yay!   Kittens!
2:43:37 PM weaselbringer: not the good kind
2:43:46 PM weaselbringer: Calfornia invented Kittens you know…
2:43:55 PM weaselbringer: Before that they use to just come out full grown and grumpy
2:44:13 PM weaselbringer: Plus they used to shoot venom but california banned creepy shit in 1904
2:44:22 PM sikkitten: HAHAHAHA!
2:44:29 PM weaselbringer: although I think it may be time to re-define that term
2:45:07 PM weaselbringer: 1904’s version of creepy was all “Hooligans dropping trash outside of designated receptacles and off-colour jokes” but I think the times may have changed slightly
2:45:43 PM sikkitten: yeah….
2:48:34 PM weaselbringer: California’s first governor was Zeus, and since then, we’ve determined each governor by their perceived “Ability to wrestle a hydra”
2:48:55 PM weaselbringer: Which explains why Davis was booted and Schwarzenegger is IN baby
2:49:08 PM sikkitten: HAHAHA!
2:50:27 PM weaselbringer: I’m guessing that on your filthy plot of ill-gotten land that you guys probably draw straws or blindfold the electorates and spin them around and let them pick the governor by the age-old “Duck duck goose” theorem, but we’ve found that to be a little trite
2:51:25 PM sikkitten: but it’s fun!
2:51:29 PM sikkitten: and we get SNOW
2:51:33 PM weaselbringer: usually the aliens (that only our state has contact with) sends down a few recommendations along with our next shipment of flying cars and magic wands
2:51:35 PM sikkitten: which still manages to enchant me.
2:51:49 PM sikkitten: …I wanna wand.
2:51:52 PM sikkitten: *pout*
2:52:09 PM weaselbringer: Ah yes snow, the frozen dirty rain of the upper who-gives-a-crap area of the US
2:52:59 PM weaselbringer: We have some of that too, but enough sense to shove it into piles on top of mountains for skiing, we also invented snow cones, up till then you people were just eating UNFLAVORED snow, cretins…
2:53:02 PM sikkitten: You mean the awesome awesome of awesome.
2:53:55 PM weaselbringer: Oh I’m sorry, you made a common outside-california mistake, you see the word awesome here means “Californian and/or Perfect in nature” where in the rest of the world it has another meaning, so what you PROBABLY meant to say was..
2:54:21 PM sikkitten: the awesome awesome of awesome.
2:54:26 PM weaselbringer: “The craptastic craptastic of craptastic and we eat poo”
2:54:51 PM weaselbringer: it’s a common mistake I wouldn’t beat yourself up over it
2:55:04 PM sikkitten:
2:55:08 PM weaselbringer: But if you’ll excuse me I have to go post this on my blog, which you can now read to entertain yourself

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *