When your bill comes back up to full price (40-50 bucks a mon.) then you call them up and basically say:

You: Hey I\'ve always paid 30 dollars or so for service and it went up!

Them: oh that\'s our regular price, we prey on the weak!

umm, odd. But anyway I had a lot of trouble getting signed up with you guys I\'m sure you can see the notes on my account!

Them: *pretends to look it up, beats level 9 of minesweeper*   YES!! I mean yes, I do see that here.

You: Well I think with all the problems I\'ve had with you guys and I didn\'t know how much it would jump up to.

Them: Well it is our standard price, and you smell funny.

You: I what?

Them: Oh nothing! *cough*

You: Anyway \"“ I saw a promotion in the mail the other day for even less than 30! can I have that.

Them: Oh (you hideous fool) that\'s for new customers and/or TV cable customers.

You: I heard that, you just said \"Parentheses hideous fool\"

Them: I\'m sorry ma\'am you must be mistaken.

You: Look, Is there some promotion you can get me on or do I have to cancel and sign up again?

Ah wait there is something *Level 10 minesweeper completion* Let me just check…

*The sounds of frantic typing while they stare longingly at a wall clock and cry silently* —

Yes we have some promotion currently for 20-35 a month, will that do! smelly?

You: I took a shower

Them: sure you did, how\'s the price?

You: Yeah I guess

Great! I\'ll just switch your pricing, this whole conversation has been a farce to make sure you really wanted it.

You: Wanted what?

Them: Please do not comment on my internal monologue ma\'am, Can I help you with anything else today?

You: There is something very wrong here and I!.


What the!

ELAPSED TIME: 11.3 minutes

Done Deal

Follow this dialogue exactly, even if they don\'t

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