[10:59] WeaselBringer: Xbox 360 had perfect dark zero for a ‘halo style flagship game’ but they lost it due to delays, so they’re trying to decide what the flagship game will be, which means the first main game they force down our throats will probably be a racer
[10:59] WeaselBringer: neato
[11:00] WeaselBringer: Maybe they’ll have like Halo 2.5 the 1024x Edition, Now with shiny things!

[11:01] BriggsinCali: well, halo certainly was fun
[11:02] BriggsinCali: yea, i really hope Sony comes out with something nice once they finally release ps3

[11:06] WeaselBringer: of course sony decided to embrace blu-ray 2x speeds for the ps3 – (extra 100$ cost per unit for sony)
[11:07] WeaselBringer: meaning the ps3 should be out in 7 years and cost 203,000 dollars

[11:07] BriggsinCali: yea, that worries me a bit
[11:07] BriggsinCali: by the time it comes out, it won’t be special anymore

[11:08] WeaselBringer: you simply give the store your credit card, and they don’t give it back, and then you use the handy ’employee branded ritual blade’ to offer blood sacrifice to the console, then you ask it what game it would like to play to show it that you’re not being bossy and willing to let it make it’s own decisions, then if you can coax it into it’s harness and get it to the car, you too will own your very own ps3
[11:09] BriggsinCali: hmm, i hope they sterilize the blade
[11:11] WeaselBringer: they’ll probly be like cheap ‘funco-land’ keychains with disposable razor blades on them, and they’ll let you keep it, ya know…. just in case the ps3 gets angry and doesn’t like the size of the enclose you’ve chosen for it’s rotund oval shaped “no components will fit above me” form factor (copyright)
[11:11] BriggsinCali: ha ha
[11:12] WeaselBringer: do you think that’s a sly way to make sure that the ps3 alwasy ends up on top of your stereo components or at least gets it’s own shelf, or do they really just have to make oval motherboards with egg-ram or something
[11:12] BriggsinCali: well, the xbox 360 isn’t much better
[11:13] WeaselBringer: they keep this up the ps4 will be a cylinder that you can roll around, and the ps5 will actually be a ball! (Then nintendo will sue them for stealing their ‘gamesphere’ idea)
[11:14] WeaselBringer: And the xbox 360 looks like they hired the guy that made the Ipod and beat the shit out of him with a sack full of hammers while he tried to make their 17 pound console pretty

[11:14] BriggsinCali: wow, quite the rant today
[11:14] WeaselBringer: (and it looks like they got [email protected]’s mother to design the front of it)
[11:14] WeaselBringer: yeah I’m sorta ranty today

[11:16] WeaselBringer: maybe I’ll just post this whole conversation on my website
[11:16] WeaselBringer: so I don’t have to repeat it all

[11:16] BriggsinCali: well, your half of it anyway
[11:16] BriggsinCali: i’m typing in between gluing sessions
[11:17] WeaselBringer: sniffing glue?
[11:17] BriggsinCali: fuck yea
[11:18] BriggsinCali: although it takes a lot of wood glue do have much of an effect

[11:18] WeaselBringer: I bet try cramming the tube in your nostril and hitting it with a hammer (the tube not your nostril)
[11:19] BriggsinCali: that might just do it

My birthday took place and some really wacky stuff happened, we didn’t get photos of that stuff,
but we got photos!

Here’s an image gallery for the party you all missed. Unless you were there, in which case… shutup


Picture this!

Hello you sick and twisted kitten killers.

Many of you are coming to this site and going “What the shit is this?”

The Devils Newsletter is on a long hiatus, so we’ve developed a new site, with a new name to bring you some of the same old disgusting, trippy, funny, silly newsletter formatted crap you’ve all come to know and love.

It is truly a sad thing to have to let the Devils Newsletter fall by the wayside, but who knows, it may be back at some time in the unknowable future. There were problems with the domain, the hosting, the planetary alignment, and the whole thing was just easier to drop at this point. However with a new name and a new format (it’s RED) we can keep stuffing fun down your throats at the rate of a gallon a minute. Until you burst from Humor.

Anyone interested in becoming a writer or contributer for CrotchMail should email me: Dick Johnson


Here's a CROTCH!