Fuck Best Buy

I like to inject a certain level of comedy and levity into almost everything that gets published here. However I think I can express my overwhelming rage and frustration in a way that may be amusing or at the least, informative. Let me start off by saying…

Best Buy is a bunch of Pig-Fucking Nazi Corporate whores who deserve nothing less than strangulation with their entrails.

I had the good fortune of attempting to contact Best Buy to see if they had a product available, because I was gifted with several “gift cards” over the holidays. I really wanted a GameBoy Micro, as I like retro gaming, and its the latest console put out by nintendo alongside the DS lite and the Wii (both of which they don’t have in either). It’s a common item but was not located on their website. I decided I’d give the store a call.

1st Call: Phone Menu annoying, transferred to games, phone rang 50 times. *hung up*

2nd Call: Called back, transferred to games dept, phone rang 60 times. *hung up*

3rd Call: Called back transferred to computer dept, informed that they don’t have it, but might be able to order it, transferred me to media, phone rang 50 times, *hung up*

4th Call: Called back, transferred to computers, transferred to media, They cannot order it and the only nintendo console they carry AT ALL is the Gameboy Advance SP in PINK… Asked if I could refund my gift cards, transferred to customer service, phone rang 50 times, *HUNG UP*

5th call: Called back, transferred to computers, asked for manager, transferred…. phone rang 50 times, *HUNG UP*

6th Call: Called back, transferred to computers… phone rang and rang *hung up*

7th Call: Called Best Buy corporate office, waited on hold 20 minutes, reached directory, was transferred to complaints department, *Call dropped unexpectedly*

8th Call: Called Corporate – Waited 20 minutes to reach switchboard, transferred to complaints again….. waited FORTY FIVE more minutes to reach someone. Finally Sassy bitch picks up the phone and I explain everything, and that I want to lodge a complaint against the Santa Rosa store, and that I just want to refund my gift cards. She tells me to wait on the complaint (for no reason) and tells me I’ll have to get the receipt for the gift cards from the people that GAVE me the cards. I told her I’m not bugging people that gave me gifts, she says too bad. I ask for supervisor. *CALL IS DISCONNECTED*

9th Call: Called Corporate…. waited 20 minutes *slammed down the phone in a fit of burning rage, punched my desk, knocking over several pen holders jumped up and hit knee on same desk, knocking down the remaining pen holders then I actually spit in the garbage can, on the off chance there is a god and he can open a portal in my trash can that will carry my rage-flecked saliva through space and time to land in the eye of the CEO of Best Buy and cause him to miss a vital turn in his Ferrari, flying off the edge of dead-mans-curve and into the 3000 foot ravine where his flaming car is crushed against his dessicated body and he can only reach the speed dial #1 on his cell phone which sends him to best buy customer service where he slowly chokes to death on his own blood and bone chips while listening to the cheery and endless fucking HOLD MUSIC OF BEST BUYS INFINITE FUCKING PHONE SYSTEM!!!

Rather than place the 10th call in this farce of a fucking customer service system. I’ve opted to actually GO TO THE FUCKING STORE, where I’ll inform the manager of the SANTA ROSA, CALIFORNIA store, that they’re a bunch of fucktards and that I will use my gift-cards on a low-profit item, simply so they dont’ get the satisfaction of the free money from the poor souls that had to wait in their horrid fucking lines and get frisked on the way out by the handy “Everyone’s a shoplifter – Receipt Checker” Asshole waiting by the door, to give me a gift card to what is apparently the worst fucking run company on the face of the earth.

I don’t know if you’ve seen the best buy cards, they’re actually fairly sharp and dangerous looking, I may be able to fashion a cannon to fire best buy gift cards with deadly sniper accuracy into the store-front where it will tear through their flamingly retarded anti-bathing group the GEEK SQUAD who will have to call tech support to see if bleeding is an issue they can deal with. Or if decapitation requires a patch or a new head.

SHIT FUCK GODDAMMIT PISS COCK MOTHERFUCKR FUCK FUCK FUCK RETARDS ASSHOLES DICKS SUCKS DICK MOTHER FUCKING ASS RAMMING ANUS SPREADING SORES ON THE FACE OF THE FUCKING EARTH SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE AND ALL THAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD CHOKE ON THE VOMIT YOU SPEW AT CUSTOMERS BECAUSE YOU SHOULD EAT SHIT AND DIE SLOWLY OF SHIT POISONING WHILE FUCKING YOUR MOTHER TO DEATH WITH A STEEL ROD FOR BIRTHING YOUR UPBEAT BOTTOM LINE MARGIN LOVING ASSES.

I feel better now.