Home, Instant Message

Conversations In Hell

[13:59] Brendan: my life is in danger… I need $23,000,000 in diamonds by 9:12pm tonight
[14:00] WeaselBringer: I have 22,222,033 in diamonds, some in oil stocks, I’m about 200k short total, I had to kill 3 people, we may need to hide out after this
[14:01] WeaselBringer: btw whats it all for
[14:02] Brendan: in-n-out burger
[14:02] Brendan: I ran up a small tab
[14:02] Brendan: now the in-n-out goons are after me
[14:04] WeaselBringer: i just killed 3 people… and stole the klopland diamond and had it cut and fenced by 7 internationally entwined enemy forces and called in 3 favors from the pentagon to get an attack helicopter to deliver it all to you at 9:11pm …. for your burger tab?
[14:05] Brendan: I made a mistake
[14:06] Brendan: what can I say? I’m sorry
[14:06] Brendan: it won’t happen again
[14:06] Brendan: I was in line
[14:06] Brendan: ordering
[14:06] Brendan: and as I joke, I asked what the maximum number of pattys they could put on a burger was
[14:06] WeaselBringer: oh my god
[14:06] Brendan: the guy said there was no limit
[14:06] Brendan: so I decided to test him
[14:06] WeaselBringer: do they put bread inbetween that, or is it just piles of meat
[14:07] WeaselBringer: the maximum should be based off their packaging sizes
[14:07] Brendan: piles of meat
[14:07] Brendan: and cheese
[14:07] Brendan: one would think!
[14:07] Brendan: but no
[14:07] WeaselBringer: If they claim they can make a 100 meat patty monster, it should have a super tall box to carry it out in
[14:07] WeaselBringer: or a truck
[14:07] Brendan: I had a burger with 28,000,000 pattys
[14:07] WeaselBringer: thats a lot of meat
[14:07] WeaselBringer: what did you do with it
[14:08] Brendan: I had a few bites
[14:08] Brendan: gave the rest to some homeless guy outside
[14:09] WeaselBringer: you mean you’re the guy who’s responsible for the 84 recorded homeless heart attacks in that area? apparently that guy shared the wealthy and I think you just racked up an 80+ death toll
[14:09] WeaselBringer: shows what being nice to the homeless will do for you
[14:10] Brendan: I thought something like that would happen
[14:10] Brendan: which is why I kick the guy square in the balls right after giving it to him
[14:10] Brendan: I figured mean cancels out nice
[14:10] Brendan: and everyone comes out a winner
[14:12] WeaselBringer: But you kicked him in the balls and then he died from rancid meat and blazing cholesterol levels… I think that’s a double-mean if anything. Possibly a triple
[14:12] Brendan: I gave him the gift of dead cow! He looked thrilled while he was curled up in a ball, bleeding from his penis
[14:17] WeaselBringer: You associate a plethora of emotions with ‘bleeding from the crotch’ I don’t think a single one of them is applicable

Comments

comments

One thought on “Conversations In Hell

Leave a Reply