-digging a hole for yourself | Pre-Gravedigger saying |
-bit off more than you could chew | Warning before teeth were invented |
-cut off your nose to spite your face | A common medieval practice |
-livin’ in the fast lane | Meth addict |
-greatest thing since sliced bread | The greatest Vertical Portal since Google! |
-green with envy | A rare afflication of jealous bitches |
-chip off the old block | Back when men were wooden |
-don’t bite the hand that feeds you
|
unfinished: bite the FOOT that feeds you |
-better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all | Ancient Greek Joke |
-the emperor wears no clothes | Ancient Greek Tradition |
-plenty of fish in the sea | When bestiality was more accepted |
-what will be will be | Stuff is stuff |
-if it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right | Don’t fuck this up |
-if at first you don’t succeed, try and try again | Keep going till I tell you to stop |
-there’s no time like the present | Hey it’s about now… now |
-waiting with baited breath | Stop eating sushi |
-potty/toilet mouth | Talking Shit |
-mouth like a sailor | Very gay and/or italian |
-a snail’s pace | Like being behind the fat lady in the supermarket |
-you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink | Correction: That fucking horse WILL drink. |
-stupid is as stupid does | Dumbass |
-catch as catch can | cootchy-coo? |
-busy as a bee | Minimum Wage Worker |
-old as the hills | Pre-Bon-Jovi |
-been around the block a few times | A slut that fucks whores |
-just fell off the turnip truck | Immigrant worker |
-read me like a book | Amateur Vivisection |
-a rolling stone gathers no moss | The Rolling Stones suck… |
-shot to hell | FRAGGED |
-shot in the dark | Shot through the heart |
-shoot first, ask questions later | LA Police Tactics were used |
-trouble with a capital "T" | Illiterate Gang members |
-shotgun wedding | Bridal Gangbang |
-been there, done that | Ex-girlfriends |
-knee jerk reaction | Getting hit in the balls |
-a chain is only as strong as its weakest link | You have a gay friend |
-an eye for an eye. a tooth for a tooth | Organ swapping is okay |
-one bad apple spoils the bunch | Your weird uncle Larry |
-something rotten in Denmark | The Danish are Filthy |
-Vini, Vidi, Vici | The truth is in the Brine: A form of Sea Monkey worship. |
-monkey see, monkey do | They mean sea monkeys, and they do |
-cool as a cucumber | You are a squash |
-if wishes were horses then beggars would ride | Fuck the homeless |
-like a bat out of hell | Women drivers |
-hindsight is 20-20 | Your ass has eyeballs |
-better late than never | Better Never than really late |
-once bitten, twice shy | Vampire alert! |
-if you can’t walk the walk, don’t talk the talk
|
The Handicapped should be gagged |
-if you can’t take the heat, stay out of the kitchen | Don’t eat cheese on sundays |
-kill’em all, let God sort’em out | Sir, Yes, Sir |
-walking on thin ice | Figure skaters |
-beggars can’t be choosers | Poor people do what you tell them |
-walking on eggshells | Anorexic Ballet |
-knock on wood | Jerk off for luck |
-damned if I do, Damned if I don’t | Damn it |
-it’s a cakewalk | I like pie |
-ain’t just whistlin’ Dixie | A gaping Vagina |
-jumping on the bandwagon | Jumping on the Gaping Vagina |
-passing the buck | Toss me that deer! |
-too little too late | Sex with Asians |
-till the cows come home | You fell asleep in the barn |
-from dusk till dawn | I had sex with George Clooney |
-like there’s no tomorrow | Tomorrow never Dies |
-can’t see the forest for the trees | Your head is in your ass |
-people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stone | Don’t vandalize near a witness |
-time flies when you’re having fun | It takes 20 minutes to find your pants |
-so hungry I could eat a horse | Hey I’m Fat! |
-chew you a new asshole | Cannibalistic Surgery Requested |
-well slap the dog & spit on the fire | This spoon requires washing |
-from famine to feast | What happens to housewives |
-selling like hotcakes | Drugdealing pays off |
– the pot calling the kettle black | use a pipe to smoke weed |
-when the going gets tough, the tough get going |
Punch your horse to make it go faster |
-put my foot in my mouth | Podiatry is for everyone |
-through hell or high water | Through NO-Clip and Wall-hacks |
-it ain’t over till the fat lady sings | Fat People Ruin Parties |
-it beats picking cotton | No one wants to be black |
-like an accident waiting to happen | Like an Asian Driver |
-if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it | Break this |
-am I my brother’s keeper | My brother is a Dog |
-if everybody else jumped off a bridge, would you? | If all your friends removed their spleens with salad forks would you? |
-ask & you shall receive | Gimme that |
-never look a gift horse in the mouth | Don’t kiss horses |
-every rose has a thorn | Life ain’t nothing but bitches and money |
-fit for a king | Birthday suit |
-you can’t judge a book by its cover | People look funny |
-there’s no honor among thieves | Rip off your criminal friends too |
-no use flogging a dead horse | It’s illegal in most states anyway |
-only the strong survive | Beat up weaklings |
-survival of the fittest | If your clothes dont’ fit, God hates you |
-the meek shall inherit the earth | Keep consuming you Capitolist bastards |
-every dog has its day | Hump my leg! |
-dead as a doorknob | This doornkob is a squirrel |
-caught between a rock and a hard place | Prison sex |
-you better straighten up and fly right | Turn Heterosexual and become a Pilot for Delta |
-when hell freezes over | When you fix all your mental problems |
-when pigs fly | That guy in the seat next to you on airplanes |
-a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush | Don’t masturbate with parrots |
-a penny saved is a penny earned | Get a real job |
-more fun than a barrel of monkeys | Improper packing techniques may work in your favor |
-one in a million | Where babies come from |
-no use crying over spilled milk | Salt and milk taste terrible |
-the grass is always greener on the other side | Your neighbor paints their lawn while you’re asleep |
-you can’t teach an old dog new tricks | Dead animals can’t dance |
-another face in the crowd | People suck |
-shooting yourself in the foot | Missing the Money Shot |
-two birds with one stone | KILLING SPREE |
-never say never | James bond is here |
-a watched pot never boils | Just smoke your Weed |
-like shooting fish in a barrel | Like having sex with a blender |
-what’s good for the goose is good for the gander | Stuff your pillow with ducks! |
-we all have our crosses to bear | Jesus hates you |
-skeletons in the closet |
I have to hide the bodies somehow |
-the old gray mare just ain’t what she used to be | This is the most single most confusing statement in all human history |
-fit to be tied | Bondage freaks |
-to the victor goes the spoils | Hey Victor took out the trash! |
-don’t make a mountain out of a molehill | Men with Big trucks |
-all’s well that ends well | Vacation sucked |
-give an inch, take a mile | Porn star magic |
-judge not, lest ye be judged | Don’t be pointing fingers |
-right as rain | This situation is damp |
-et tu, Brute? | Word |
-the die is cast | This Gamer is dead |
-on top of the world | I’m in china |
-that’s the way the cookie crumbles | My pastry is expired |
-let sleeping dogs lie | Dogs are liars |
-grin & bear it | Smile and Sleep through winter |